Do You Wear Color or Camouflage?

What is the first color that you visually recall? I asked my friend Janice (The Vivienne Files) and she answered, "Blue. I remember being in a crib near the window and seeing the blue sky."

My memory for color doesn't go back that far. I remember the first color I learned to read on my first day of 1st Grade - R E D. But the first color that made a visual impression on me was a frothy, sherberty green - you can find it somewhere in the scarf pictured below - depending on your version of frothy and sherberty.

The image was in a book about a doll hospital. I don't remember the details, but the doll doctor took a rather beat up and left-behind doll and dressed her in the most beautiful green dress ever. A green I still look for to this day.

As a wearer of predominately black clothing (the national color of Chicago clothes), maybe I look for colors in my photographs and silk scarves as that hint of not-city, of out-of-doors.

Maybe I look for color to keep my black clothes from looking like everyone else. Is black the camouflage that keeps me from being too visible? For a person who works at home and is rather introverted, it feels difficult to hide, even in a city of 4+ million people. Black lets me slip through the crowd (although I run the risk of getting hit by a car after dark). But the adornment of a scarf says, "Look at me, just a little."

Of course certain animals are masters of camouflage - insects, birds, animals. But with my military family background, you know I'm not going in that direction. Did you know that military camouflage has been used to cover the movement of ships since Philostratus wrote about the blue/gray concealment paint on naval vessels? And I feel certain that everyone my age, wore a ratty camo jacket in the late 60s/early 70s. And then somewhere along the line, fashion upsurped, or at least co-opted camouflage, as it is wont to do.

So, in this case, camouflage, which makes every military person everywhere stand out in a crowd, now becomes the thing to wear to be "the crowd." Am I the only one who is confused?

Marathons and the Legend of Pheidippides

Clearly, unlike one of the stories surrounding Pheidippides and the first marathon, I did not die upon completion of the 26.2 mile uh hike. I say hike because I walk the marathon - or you could say I slow run it, regardless, I didn't expire. And you also might notice that I'm not wearing a silk scarf or even a bandana; I'll have to work on that for next year.

I learn a lot about myself over the period of 26.2 miles and 6 hours. And, I've learned a lot over the 18 week training period - one thing is that I'm bored with training at Week 14 :-)

For me, the focused fast walking is a meditation of sorts - my mind at any given moment could get me committed or ordained.

I learn that I don't do so well in crowds; good to know when there are 45,000 of us. I learn that even after all that training, for the first few miles I have no sense of my stride because with the people running by me, I feel like I'm in slow motion. I learn to be less selfish, as I realize everyone around me is also trying to achieve a goal, and let a woman draft off me for 20 miles because she's injured. And finally, I'm not going to win, and there's a freedom in that.

My life right now seems to contain a lot of [self-imposed] expectations - winning at things like image-making, scarf sales, work, friendships - and then sort of bashing myself when I don't win. Knowing I'm not going to win the marathon doesn't stop me from training my hardest and walking my fastest, does it? So, why don't I cut myself some slack all 'round.

Hmmmm, might be something upon which to meditate when I start training again next week.